I saw her and then she was gone, I heard whispering for me to follow, It only took me a few seconds to decide… My curiosity overrules the urge for me to run home be scared and retreat.
Tasting fear I furiously try to predict the oncoming events. The girl is walking down the corridor of bewildering trees that provide an arch way around the narrow stream. The pure smell of nature taking its course eases my anxiety somewhat. I follow the mystery girl but soon lose sight of her as the mist filters through the trees blocking my view. I've lost her.
Hi Franklin Its Morgan here. Wow that is great I really like how you said "My curiosity overrules the urge for me to run home be scared and retreat". I think that this is a great piece of writing. E noho ra bye
ReplyDeleteKia ora Franklin,
ReplyDeleteMiko here. I think that this piece of descriptive writing is quite interesting. I think it was good how pulled the reader in at the start by saying “I heard whispering for me to follow.”
I do although think it could of used a bit more work. Like when you say “My curiosity overrules the urge for me to run home be scared and retreat.” I think you need a comma between run home and be scared otherwise it doesn't really make sense. I also think it would be a good idea to make the photo smaller next time that way it wont go over the page.
I myself are really into descriptive writing. I hope you did well on your test. Check out my blog sometime.
Have a good one,
Miko